Masculinism

I went to some talks on feminism a while ago, and when I told a friend of mine, he asked if he could set up a society for masculinism. I was annoyed by this response*, but I have no idea why, really. It fits in well with the ideas I have and the reason I wasn't sure if I thought of myself as a feminist. I have tried calling myself a feminist, but I am leaning towards rejecting this term. I hope this post may explain why.

I have been thinking about what issues masculinism would deal with, and there are quite a lot. I found a brilliant blog post recently: 5 Stupid, Unfair and Sexist Things Expected of Men. For those who can't be bothered to read it: the article outlines that men are expected to:

- be prepared to get into physical fights

- not look like they care about their girlfriends too much

- be promiscuous

- not show emotion

- always 'prove' that they are not gay

These are fairly stupid expectations that men are pressured to live up to. Men also are expected to put up with physical pain, not look like they care about their appearance, not show affection, not be victims of violence or sexual assault, have stereoytpically masculine interests and skills, accept challenges and not be a 'wuss' - even if something totally stupid is thrown at them.
If masculinism existed, it would challenge the idea that this is what men have to be like. And people bloody well should.

Seaneen Molloy's brilliant post on being labelled a 'woman blogger' also made me think, this time about the differences in how we think of men and women with mental illnesses. Men are less likely to talk about mental health and depression. Because, as I mentioned earlier, men aren't supposed to have feelings. Not talking about it leaves them at risk; rates of suicide are far higher in men. Worse still, I think men with psychosis are more stereoytped as violent. And that's the worst kind of stigma to live with.

(to go slightly off-topic, the bloke who did those 'schizo' videos with Time To Change is awesome - for being a bloke talking openly about his mental health, saying he has schizophrenia, probably the worst-stigmatised condition, with a 'so what' attitude)

The expectation of violence is a disturbing issue. At the feminist talks, I remember one woman pointing out that men have far higher rates of violence and suicide, and this is just sort of seen as an inevitable thing, 'how men are'. In reality, we need to look at the culture we have that drives this.

I've said many times I'm glad I'm not a man, because of the expectation of men to act 'manly'. I can walk down the street wearing men's clothes and shoes (and often do) and no-one will notice, let alone care. The reaction to a man walking down the street in a skirt and heels would be very different! Women are more accepted having 'masuculine' hobbies or careers than men who do 'feminine' jobs or hobbies. This is partly a feminist issue - you could argue that women are accepted doing masculine things because they are seen as better; the idea that 'feminine' things are inferior and men doing them are degrading themselves. But men are still coming off badly here. There was a very good 'Opinion' section in New Scientist about this, which, sadly, I cannot find to link to.

I'm not saying there aren't a lot of problems women face in society; I'm saying that men's problems and sexism towards men is ignored. And that's why I'm not going to say I'm interested in feminism. I'm interested in gender issues: problems faced by all of society - not just one half of it.

*So was my spellchecker: